Post-Goal Poem

It's been ages since I've thought about
them, these words
After a big project I dive deep and deeper
into the dark depths of what's next
and what if
I can never do better than that?

stop go. Stop go. Hurry up and wait.
This space feels like everything I fear
closed, judgmental, and alone

I think back
only a few months ago I was open and thriving
and connected. Now, here I am alone.
As happiness evades, my routine crumbles
slowly and I stand

In the wake of my destruction
knowing it's time to clean house
to move again into a routine
and to make time for me.

If I can feel deeply proud of achieving,
I can feel the deep shame of not.
So, standing taking stock
seems so trivial

But we need to recover our energies
just as much as we need to use them.